I like to be as open as possible about my mental health. I don’t remember knowing much about mental health while growing up. Almost all my knowledge on the subject is from doing research on my own. I make no claims to be an expert on the subject in any way. I just want to let others know that it’s “normal” to deal with mental health. And if you have questions do research, talk to someone, seek help. The world is more better with you in it. And you deserve to have the best experience possible while you’re here. You deserve a good life.
I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, adhd, and ocd late last year. I have other medical diagnoses that affect me physically but also exacerbate my mental health issues. I sought help more than once, and was brushed off. It was frustrating to be told, “you’ve made it this long without medication, why start now?” and “You’re a new mom, you’re supposed to be tired; what did you expect?” I gave up seeking help for a long time after being ignored so many times. It took 11 months for me to get a complete diagnosis for what is “wrong” with me. It was a tiring, frustrating 11 months. But let me tell you, that once I made up my mind that I deserved better, and that my family deserved better, I changed doctors, and that was the best decision I ever made.
In comparison, it was easier to get a handle on what was going on mentally than mentally. It was my experience that once I got over the fear of the unknown of what happens at therapy, it was relatively easy to figure out what was going on, and formulate a game plan to help me. I felt listened to. Feeling listened to is a huge benefit. I also feel like I’m not crazy and making up these issues in my head. They really do exist. And yes I may naturally have the frayed nerves of a neurotic chihuahua, that cause me to shake all the time, question literally everything, and never, ever sleep; but I don’t have to live this way. This is not a healthy way to be. This bleeds over into many many other areas. But if you face it, along with therapy and medical help, you can chill out. You can feel like yourself.
I lost both parents before I was 30 and it obviously caused or triggered a predisposition to depression. I have periods of times that I struggle through, when I literally cannot human. It is all I can do to simply be alive. I can’t get out of bed, I can’t shower, I can’t eat, I can’t stop eating other times, I can’t do anything. Life is just too much for me. And those instances are absolutely horrible. I don’t wish them on anyone. No one deserves to feel like this. But addressing my mental health has made this horrible feeling bearable, and even completely gone most days.
It was almost impossible to get anyone to even want to talk to me about having adhd as an adult. In college, I was often told “you should have been diagnosed by now” and that’s really the only information I could get from my school. My doctor at the time didn’t see the need in medication since I made it through high school. (Just for reference I almost failed out of college twice, and I 100% believe it was due to the combination of mental health issues that I couldn’t get addressed and maturity.) Surprise! What I suspected all along, and had been trying to compensate for my entire life, was actually a huge issue in many areas of my life.
During my diagnosis phase, I was surprised to find out that I also have OCD. I NEVER would have suspected I had OCD in a million years. I always thought that people with OCD were clean freaks, and had to count things. I’m more of an organized mess type of person. But it turns out that it really explains a lot of things that triggers my anxiety. I have to do things in a certain order or they feel wrong and I either completely avoid the task or have to redo it. I don’t like to share things, not because I mind people having things but because if they don’t return it EXACTLY the way I gave it to them or give it back when I expect them to, it triggers major anxiety. I overcompensate this by just giving people whatever they need to share or borrow to avoid the anxiety it causes. And here is one crazy thing that I learned I do because of my OCD, messes and disorder gives me anxiety, and because of the anxiety it causes I avoid cleaning the mess. This fixes nothing and makes the anxiety worse.
Basically the main take a ways that I have should be mental health is vitally important. Mental health should NEVER be ignored or marginalized. And to feel completely yourself, you have to address all aspects of your mental health. Because like me you may have more than one mental health disorder. They may feed off of or inflame each other. If your house is on fire, it does no good if you just stand by watering the plants watching it burn! Call for help, put out your fires!
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